Forgiveness: Blessings vs. Curses

Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Unbroken (by Laura Hillenbrand) is a book about the amazing life of Louie Zamperini, an Olympic athlete turned bombardier airman during World War II. After a plane crash, Mr. Zamperini survived starvation and shark attacks on a life raft, only to be captured by the Japanese army. He was held prisoner for several years and endured unspeakable cruelty. Upon his return home, he struggled with flashbacks and alcoholism, until a chance encounter at a Billy Graham evangelistic crusade. Reverend Graham was preaching on the power of forgiveness and Louie took it to heart. He forgave his torturers and made a trip back to Japan to share God’s good news.

There is power in forgiveness. In fact, God has a number of blessings that He will give us, if we only open our hearts. Psalm 32:1 promises us that we will be blessed by God when we forgive others. Our sins will be forgotten “as far as the east is from the west,” in Psalm 103:12. We are assured mercy in Matthew 5:7. In Proverbs 25:21-22, He promises rewards for feeding our enemies.

When we harden our hearts and are unforgiving, there are consequences for this sin. In Matthew 18:35, the Scripture tells us that not only will God refuse to excuse our sins if we don’t forgive others, but He will torment us. Even worse, Satan will gain an advantage over us if we don’t forgive, according to 2^nd Corinthians 2:10-11.

As children of God, we are commanded to do not just the easy, pleasant tasks, but the difficult ones, too. If a physical wound is left without cleansing, it will fester and become infected. Soon it will affect the entire body. Similarly, if you don’t clear the air with someone who has hurt you, this wound will become bitter. Next week, I will finish this three-part series by focusing on the consequences of bitterness.

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The Hubster and I are flying to Chicago today to consult with doctors at the
Cancer Treatment Centers of America. They will do some tests and discuss ideas they have for my treatment. I’ll let you know how it goes. I covet your prayers. Thanks, blog buddies!

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Female in Motion Exercise Update: I did three 20-minute Wii yoga routines and walked three miles last week. I’m really getting “downward-facing dog” right!

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Notable Quote:

“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” --Mahatma Gandhi

Good news!

I received the results of my PET scan from my oncologist yesterday afternoon. I have no evidence of cancer anywhere in my body. Yay!

What this means to my treatment, remains to be seen. I will be vigilant to get all the facts from every avenue.

Thanks so much for being faithful to think and pray about me, and for encouraging me with emails, cards, phone calls and Facebook messages. You are the hands and feet of Christ to me, always carrying out His work here on earth.

May God abundantly bless each one of you!  And now, it's time to celebrate!

Forgiveness: Pit to Palace

(This is the first of a three-part series on forgiveness.)

 Genesis 37:19 (KJV) And they said one to another, Behold, this dreamer cometh.
 
     Joseph of Canaan grew up with 11 older brothers. He was a shepherd in the fields of his father, Jacob. Joseph's big brothers didn't like him much, because their father spoiled him. One day, Joseph told his siblings that he had a dream in which they all bowed down to him. That went over well! They all teased him, calling him "The Dreamer."
     Following his father's request, Joseph visited his brothers in the fields and brought them supplies. Conspiring together, the older boys threw him in a pit, then sold Joseph off to a nomadic tribe passing through, and told their father that a wild animal had killed the young shepherd. The nomads sold Joseph into slavery in Egypt, where he became a servant to a wealthy family. 
     As if all this wasn't jolly enough, Joseph was unjustly accused of rape and sent to prison. Even though his life was not at all what he had pictured, Joseph stayed faithful to God. After languishing in jail for several years, he heard that Pharaoh, the leader of Egypt, was having troubling dreams. A former inmate recommended Joseph to Pharaoh as an interpreter of dreams. This is the point where Joseph's life makes a huge turn.
     After warning Pharaoh of a devastating plague, Joseph was rewarded with a position of power in the kingdom. During the worst part of the famine, Joseph's brothers traveled from Canaan to beg for food and supplies in Egypt. They did not recognize him, but Joseph knew his brothers right away. He took care of his family during the plague and wept tears of forgiveness at their appearance.
     It seems like Joseph would have a hard time forgiving his brothers of all the heartache they caused. He realized, though, that God had placed him in Egypt at that time, for a greater reason. And he forgave. Not because it didn't matter what his brothers did to him, but because God made a bad situation into a good one. God took that pit, and turned it into a palace.


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I had a PET scan at St. Francis Hospital in Wichita last week. It's a very complicated test that shows if you have cancer anywhere in your body. I will get the results back sometime this week. I'm going back to St. Francis this week, for a second opinion on treatment with Dr. David Johnson, oncologist. Next week, The Hubster and I will head to Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Chicago for a third opinion. As always, I will keep you apprised.

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Female in Motion Exercise Update: I did three one-mile walks last week and added three 20-minute yoga workouts. My surgeon released me to resume normal exercise, except for aerobics.

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Notable Quote:

Genesis 50:20 (KJV)
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Don't call me Mara!

     In the book of Ruth, Naomi left Bethlehem with her husband and two sons. There was a famine back home, and they decided to move to Moab. When she returned, ten years later, Naomi was a widow and childless. She told her old friends, "Call me Mara, for the Lord has dealt very bitterly with me."

     When Naomi returned to Bethlehem she had nothing, except for a beautiful daughter-in-law, Ruth. Women alone had difficult lives in Bible times. The pair were destitute, so they resorted to gleaning food from the edges of fields. It was common practice for wealthy farmers to leave a little on the sides for the poor. Naomi was at her lowest point.

     Don't call me Mara. God has spoiled me rotten! Several people have labeled me "strong" lately. I don't feel strong at all. In fact, most of the time I am a fraidy cat. That's the point. On my own, I have no steely resolve,  just a soupy puddle of melted chocolate and high-fiber cereal in my tummy.

     With God on my side, I have the courage to face each new challenge. I have the determination to move forward one tiny baby step at a time. I have the faith to believe God is real, and I have the strength to meet cancer head on.

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My oncologist, Dr. Mohammad Razaq at Central Care Cancer Center in Wichita, has recommended that I have eight rounds of chemotherapy, along with five weeks of radiation. He also ordered a PET scan this week. This is a very conservative approach to my case and I want to get several other opinions. I will continue to keep you up-to-date on my progress. Thanks for your positive thoughts and prayers, everyone!

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Female in Motion Exercise Update: I walked 3/4 of a mile three times last week. My surgeon, Diane Hunt, has released me to begin some yoga again. She says I'm healing nicely.

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Notable Quote: 

"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death."--Author unknown

Mother's Day 2012

 While reading Facebook this morning, I was surprised at the amount of posts from young mothers, overwhelmed by the load of cares placed on them, and I thought of this poem. This is for all of you, young mother, mother of teens, empty nester, Nana, Granny or Grandma. God bless you all, and Happy Mother's Day!

A Mother’s Midnight Prayer

Lord,

Help me remember, when I feel it’s a chore,

the time will come when I’ll hold her no more

asleep on my chest (the crib refused,

the blanket, the pacifier, gone unused).

What better place is there to lay her head

than against my heart, my arms her bed?

For infants grow up and leave us behind

with only memories left to remind

us of midnight walking and predawn rocking,

of soft, helpless babies unable to sleep.

So, Lord, make me patient and keep me awake

while I cradle this child, and don’t let me take

for granted the moments I spend in the night

with this baby — Your gift, my joy, my delight.

c. 1998 by Jan Dunlap

By His Stripes We Are Healed

John 20:27 (KJV) Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing.



     I spent a good portion of my life covering a large surgical scar on my right arm. Wearing long sleeves all the way through a Kansas summer is not for the faint of heart. I just couldn't handle the questioning looks, or the off-handed comments. Covering up, I could protect my scar...and my heart.

    It's not my only scar. I have a small spot on my leg and one on my back. Those used to be moles that were suspicious, so a surgeon biopsied them. They were benign. I have two tiny dots on my belly. Those are from my laparoscopic hysterectomy last year, and then there's the c-shaped scar on my left breast. I went through two invasive biopsies there. Also, benign.

     My two latest scars are on my right breast and under my right arm. I had breast cancer. It's gone now. Every day the marks get more faint. Soon, they will be barely noticeable. My childhood hero, Evel Knievel, said it best, "Bones heal, pain is temporary, (and) chicks dig scars..."

    That place on my arm is a reminder; a visual cue of the battle I fought. Malignant melanoma took a hunk of hide off my bicep. Everyone has scars. Some hide them better than others. Those telltale marks on the skin are visible proof of a change that has taken place. Many people have invisible scars, as well. They cover and protect them, like I do my right arm.

     When doubting Thomas touched Christ's hands and side, he felt the scars that lingered. And he believed. He knew that this was the Christ, our risen Savior. Thomas saw visible proof of what our Lord had gone through. Jesus endured the cross, so we would be healed. Every scar I have, makes me who I am. Inside and out, I am a child of God.

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Female in Motion Exercise Update: I walked 1/2 mile three times last week. Moving my body in the fresh air feels like an affirmation of life. I like it!

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Notable Quote:

"God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars."--Elbert Hubbard, American writer

Stuff You Learn After Breast Cancer Surgery

You can talk to women who are breast cancer survivors. You can read all the breast cancer medical websites. You can ask a zillion questions of your breast surgeon. Until you go through breast cancer surgery, however, you cannot be fully prepared for what the experience holds. 

The first few days post-surgery were spent gently and quietly. I was swollen, bruised and achy, and my body was still in shock. Spending the majority of my day resting, I rotated ice packs and took pain relievers. My chest looked like it had been hit by a semi.

Bras became an obsession. I had purchased two therapeutic bras to wear post-surgery. One was a compression model. This bra and I have a love/hate relationship. It gives me great support, but is really uncomfortable. Oh, and I have to wear it 24/7. After the first week of recovery, I have been rotating my bra wardrobe, trying to find the right combination of support and comfort.

The antiseptic wash that they used before my surgery is called chloraprep. It turns your skin a Smurfy blue. I'm allergic to it. So now, I'm itchy, sore and bruised. Super!

Fatigue is a huge component in my recovery. I wake up refreshed and ready to go, but by early afternoon, my body is shutting down. I take a nap every day and drop into bed at 10:30 p.m.

My appetite was way off for ten days. Nothing sounded very good, except my mom made her special orange jello salad for me. I ate every bit of that. Just this weekend, I noticed that I'm starting to be interested in food again.

I have missed exercise. I know that's a weird thing, but after a week of laying around, my body was craving movement. The Hubster took me to the track on Saturday, and off I went. Walking is worship. I felt the soft, humid breeze as I pumped my arms. My lungs expanded, taking in new air. It was confirmed. I am alive!

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Pathology Report: My breast surgeon, Diane Hunt, called last night to give me the pathology report from my recent surgery. The "negative margins" that I had all of you praying about worked wonders, as all my margins are negative. That means there is no remaining cancer in my breast. Dr. Hunt removed four lymph nodes under my right arm and one of the nodes had a small bit of cancer in it. The other three were clean. The best news of all is that there will be no further surgery ordered. Next up: I will meet with Dr. Hunt on May 8 and Dr. Razaq (my oncologist) on May 9, and we will start making a plan for follow-up treatment (read: chemo/radiation).

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Relay For Life Team Announcement: As the next phase in my conquering cancer journey, I have formed a Female in Motion Relay for Life team. The event will be at 6 p.m. Friday, June 15, 2012, at Wilson Park in Arkansas City, KS.  That's plenty of time for you to consider joining my team, helping me raise some funds for the American Cancer Society and stopping by that night for a really great party! For more information, or to make a donation, please hop over to my team page: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?team_id=1173868&pg=team&fr_id=39564

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 Female in Motion Exercise Update: After a solid week of exercise withdrawal, I resumed walking last Saturday. I made a quarter-mile loop around the track, at a surprisingly brisk pace. I'm back!

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Notable Quote:

Genesis 2:7 (KJV) And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.